I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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