My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
