eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
