the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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