Fuck appropriateness.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we're making bets on your personal life
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I need moral support for this bender
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
