I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
