tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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