Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize