Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
