what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
