she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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