Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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