She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
tequila makes me forget i have legs
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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