My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
