i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
