I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
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There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
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you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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