ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
