Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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