dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
