And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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