Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Enjoy the penises
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
