love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
too bad you live with your parents still
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
