i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
