I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
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I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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