u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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