it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
