anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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