you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
