I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
