You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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