Porn is love you can see.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
