Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
