If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
