Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
