I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
