And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
