yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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