By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
