Yo dont text me then not text me
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
