after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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