We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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