We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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