Acid is not a monday night drug
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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