its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
