So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
