Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
