Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
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The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
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Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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