Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
