Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
