He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
