So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I love you.
Bad choice
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
