No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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