It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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