you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
