I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
no you cant smoke seaweed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
