The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
