And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
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I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
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I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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