well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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