I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
