let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
